These days I have been obsessed with reading anything babies related online. As a new mom, I feel so inadequate. I think I have read everything there is to read, but I still feel helpless, like a kid playing mom. Today started out as a terrible day. Actually it started last night when Eli was crying on and off for three hours and kept my mom and I awake. We did everything we could think of but nothing helped. He didn't go back to sleep until five this morning. During this whole ordeal, my mom told me to go back to sleep and she would take care of the baby. I couldn't sleep hearing my baby crying his lungs out. I'm very sensitive to any noise Eli makes. I know babies make noise, and it doesn't always mean they are in pain. That's something I need to learn to adjust. Every time I hear even the slightest sound coming from the bassinet, I run over to check if he's okay. Most of the time it was just him trying to pass gas in sleep. I feel terrible every time he cries, and if I can't console him, I feel like a bad mom. I wonder what he thinks of his mom when he's screaming for help and his mom doesn't have a clue what he wants. Every night I go to bed praying to God for patience and wisdom to care for my precious little one.