I'm spending this weekend alone. Peter has to work. I haven't had a weekend all by myself for a very long time. It's actually kinda nice. I have done a lot of lazying around today. I was going to see that movie The Illuionist by myself, but I lost track of time, maybe tomorrow. I was on the computer all afternoon messing with my blogs. Yes, I'm obsessed. I was playing with my blog pets. Haha... They are kinda dumb, but they are cute and they don't poop on my floor. I'm so hungry right now. We had a good lunch at the Waterfront Seafood restaurant. My tuna sandwich was delicious. I can't wait for Peter to get off work so we can have dinner together. It will be a midnight meal by the time he's done.

Peter suggested if Chichi keeps pooping on the basement floor, we may have to get rid of her. If Chichi's gone, I'm not sure if we should keep Orlando. He will be so lonely. We have tried so many things, but Chichi just won't use the litter box. I would hate to give her away, she's the first cat I ever had. She's so darn cute too. So sad to even think about it.

Work sucked tonight. I was gonna go home early, but then one of the nurses' little girl was having a fever and was in day care. She had to go pick her up, so I said I would stay few more hours. Actually I didn't mind, I was scheduled to work anyway. The sucking part was one of my patients started to have more pain and just out of control anxiety. I spent almost an hour in there total. I had given her everything she could have, I even called the doc for more pain meds. She just had her other knee done couple weeks ago, and she kept comparing this knee to the other one. She just couldn't believe how this one could hurt much more. I explained to her they are two different knees. Then she said she jsut didn't think she should be having this much pain when she's in the hospital. That didn't make any sense at all. We were always told that pain is whatever the patient says. I'd like to believe that, and I do a good job of providing pain relief to my patients, but there's a limit. When you see your patients sound asleep, then you wake them up and ask how their pain is, they still say it's at a 10, you'd wonder, wouldn't you? I think some people are more dramatic than others, just like how we are in life. Yes, we all have different pain tolerance, but I think we all have different ways to deal with pain too. Even though it's the same level of pain, some people tough it up because they know certain pain is inevitable while others choose to scream and cry. There are so many patients who don't know how to deal with pain would tell us to just knock them out with narcotics. We have advanced a lot in medicine, but they still have to cut your flesh open in surgery. If paper cut hurt like hell, what do you think having a big old incision will feel? People need to get real. Things are easlier nowaday, but having a major surgery is no picnic. Don't expect things to be easy especially when it's an elective surgery.We nurses do our best to get you well, but you got to do your part too. Remember, "No pain, no gain".

I like blogging because I have so much free time, and I'm in love with myself. Why else do we want to blog about our daily lives and let millions of people to read about it? (Pardon me for not actually having millions of readers. Maybe just a handful.) Are our lives really that interesting? Do we really think people give a thing about it? Or maybe this is how we feel connected to others. We don't like people to invade our privacy, but we gladly tell them details about our lives on the internet. Aren't we contradicting ourselves here? I guess the only difference is when we blog, we can choose to blog about the things that make us look good. Aren't we a little full of ourselves?

It's been rainning for a few days now, when is it gonna stop? The gloomy weather is kinda soothing, but it also makes me dreary. I feel lack of interest in doing anything, but that's not new for me. I think it's the pace of the mid-west. I'm not used to this slow pace life style. Anyway, I can smell the fall coming soon. That's my favorite season. I love fall and winter. That's when all the best holiday are, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas. I'm getting a little excited for halloween this year. I have a house to decorate and candies to hand out to the kids from the neighborhood. My mood has just been lifted.

Well, saw a few movies this weekend. One of them was Match Point. It's a story about a man climbing up the social ladder by marrying a girl from rich family. Later he was torn between his comfortable life with his wife and the woman he obsessed with. I can't tell you the ending, because it is quite dramatic. Nothing good ever comes with adultery. It always ends in tragedy. An affair starts with betrayal and lies on both sides. How does a relationship last without honesty and loyalty? That's what happens when people just do whatever that makes them happy. We are sinful, since birth. It's our nature to sin. When it comes to that fine line between good and evil, we already have one foot on the evil side. We have to make a conscious effort to do the right thing everyday of our lives. Nobody said it's easy.

The other movie we saw was The Family Stone. It's a big propaganda, just terrible. Boo...

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I do realize that I look really serious and sometimes angry when I'm not smiling. You know how some people always have this happy go lucky face all the time, well, I'm not one of those. I smile when I feel like it, and my smile is always genuine. I hate it when some people always have this fake smile on their face. I hate it even more when a waiter or some guy at the movie rental place told me I need to smile more. How rude? They don't even know me. Actually I don't even know why they felt the need to say anything. Were they trying to cheer me up or they just felt uncomfortable with my unsmiling face? So then I would have to fake smile in return because I'm nice, but that little moment there end up making my day crappy because they have pissed me off. I'd rather have them ask me if something is wrong, instead of just assume that I'm an unhappy serious person. If they don't care enough to know why I don't smile, or if my serious face makes them feel uncomfortable, then they just need to look the other way. Yes I know, I'm a meany. I know they are just trying to be nice. Sigh... okay I will work on this, dang it!

I just had tostada the first time. It's delicious! Hurray for El Ray!...I was so happy it's pay day today. Bought some stuff from Origins and will rate it later.... I'm beginning to realize blogs are not all that personal. You can't really say whatever you have in mind because it's viewed by many people, especially your friends and families. It really upset me when my mom used to call me up just to tell which words I misused on my blog. She doesn't do that anymore after my silent protest her insensitivity by stop blogging for a while. I think I had made my point.

I thought the sky was pretty the other day. The cotton candy color clouds made me feel like a kid again. I love childhood imagination. No limitation and always happy thoughts. This picture also reminded me of how great our God is. Look at the marvelous things he created. This is only earth, imagine how wonderful heaven will be.

We had quite a few patients coming from ER the other night. 4 of them were hip fracture. Who's going around town pushing down old people? One of mine was this cute little old lady. I told her she has very nice skin, and she really does. She smiled and said, "I wish mine was as smooth as yours". =) She was getting too excited going to a bingo game that night, she ended up tripping over herself and broke her hip. That poor thing.

I like to clean whenever I'm upset, and I did a lot of cleaning tonight. That's my crappy sunday.

Recently one of Peter's friends thinks it's okay to casually tell people to "go to hell". I don't think that's funny at all. It's rude and inappropriate. He should know better. I know my parents will not tolerate this kind of behavior. I think it's sad how some parents care more about their childrens' feelings than their character. I'm glad my parents weren't afriad to hurt my feelings when I was growing up and showed me plenty of tough love.

This is a true story and it happened to a friend of my friend. My friend's friend and her son went to this zoo. Later her son went missing and everyone was searching for this little boy, who was 3. They searched for hours and finally the mother found him playing with dirt somewhere. They left the zoo shortly after. On the way home, her son was talking about this friend of his. The mother didn't pay much attention to this. At this age, it could be an imaginary friend. He continued talking about his friend the rest of the day, so finally the father decided to get to the bottom of this. So he asked his son where's this little friend of his. The son said his friend is in his backpack. When they opened his backpack, there's a baby penguin in there, still alive! The parents freaked out and called the zoo. The zoo people freaked out as well. They came and get this baby penguin right away.

I have been having some back problem lately. This morning it was so bad that I had to call in sick for a few hours. I love stretching, but I'm not sure how much stretching is going to help this pain. I haven't gone to the doctor yet. I don't like taking medicine either, so nothing for me. It's okay! I'm a tough cookie! I was already having a shitty day because of my back pain, so when Peter told me there's only one fudgesicle left, I was screaming, "How can you do this to me? I've only had one. Why are you so selfish? ..." Peter bursted out laughing, "I was just kidding." Oh my! Did I just yell at my husband over some silly fudgesicles? I need to go to bed.

Something that bothers me so bad is that some people can never admit when they are wrong. They can never be wrong. Even when you are not trying to be confrontational, they automatically switch on the defense mode. This is so ridiculous because most of the time it's about something so small that is not even worth mentioning. Why are people like that? It's very frustrating to work with these people. I happen to work with a few of them. Sometimes I think they are very insecure. Arrgh! I can't stand them!

Our hospital has become tabacco free for a couple months. People can't even smoke outside of the hosptial as long as they are still on the hospital ground. I personally don't care either way. It's interesting though to see some of my co-workers struggle through this. During the first month, one of the nurses I work would say she had to go move her car about the same time everyday. It's obvious she's going to her car to smoke. Why did she have to lie about that? It only made her looked worse, a smoker and a liar. Another nurse has gone as far as changing her working hours to accomodate her smoking habit. What kind of life is that when you let cigarette takes control of it?

The other day I was in the locker room getting ready for my workout, when there were a few old ladies, who just got done with their water aerbic, talking about their age. One said she's going to be 85 soon, and the others told her how great she looks being 85. Then another lady said, "I'm only 86." Haha... I hope I can be as adorable and happy as these ladies when I'm that age.

Thought of the weekend: Febreeze extra strength is essential at my work.

I hung out with Mary Ann today, finally girl. We went shopping, but we didn't do too much damage. Mary Ann bought a lot of white things. She's into white lately. Then we went to get carryout from a Chinese restaurant. She only ordered white rice, crazy lady. We will probably go to the work dinner thing next monday. There are gonna be plenty of margarita, yay!

I have noticed lately that many people at work are having money problem. Many of them are working overtime to get through. Which led me to realize that no matter at what stage we are in life, we will always have our own struggle. Some are easier to overcome than others, but somehow we always make it through. So don't give up, hang in there!

Forgetful

The funniest thing happened at work tonight. My somewhat forgetful elderly patient put her call light on. When my nursing assistant went in and asked what she needed, I overheard her saying, "The nurse told me to put the light on when I'm done, but I forgot what I'm supposed to be done with." Haha...

Kimberly

I recently reconnected with one of my college friends Kim through myspace. Our friendship started back in the summer of 1999 if I remember correctly. Although my memory of that summer is vauge, I remember we had a lot of fun together. There's this one time, I went with her to stand in line for Red Wings tickets. I personally am not a fan of ice hockey, and had never heard of Red Wings before that. While we were waiting in line, we were interviewed by the local newspapare. When they heard that I'm from Hong Kong, the next day they had an article saying that I came all the way from China to see the Red Wings. Haha... We had lost touch since she moved away that same year. It was a pleasant surprise when she conacted me again. We have been messaging back and forth. She's living in England now with her husband and is going back to Traverse City for a visit in Dec. I'm thinking about meeting up with her there.