pathetic

Working at the hospital, I see all kinds of people. I would be lying to you if I say I don't ever judge them. It's really impossible not to judge anyone. We even judge ourselves sometimes. The important thing is no matter what I think of my patients, I still treat them the same, still give them the best care with respect. Just this past weekend, I had a 19 years old patient. He is what I would call... well, I'm not going to tell you what I thought. He was pretty much a big baby. He had his girlfriend, mom, and grandma at his bedside. When I was taking out an IV site, he would have his girlfriend hold his hand on one side, and his grandma on the other. He was always nasty to his mom and grandma. He would have his mom to adjust the pillows under his leg just to the exact way he wanted, or he would be effing this, effing that. His mom helped lift his leg while I was changing the dressing, he wouldn't help at all. It was really hard for the mom's back after holding her son's leg for a while. When I was done with one part, I told the mom to put his leg down to take a break, she asked her son if she could take her hand out from underneath his knee, he yelled "NO!". I didn't say anything, well, not out loud at least. Although I was pretty disgusted with this young man's manners, I know he is this way because of those around him allow him to be. If they are enabling this kind of behaviors, they are to be blamed just as much. So I don't really feel bad for those, especially females, who are in his life. No matter what he does, he's still probably the apple of their eyes. Seeing someone like him made me realized how lucky I am to have a husband who treats everyone with respect and just a genuine nice guy. His parents raised him well, and we will try out best to raise Eli to be the same.

BPA

Husband just found out from the internet news that many of the baby bottles here in the US contains Bisphenol A {BPA}. Apparently this organic compound is hazardous to humans. Canadian government has banned the use of BPA, but US hasn't. FDA has started investigating it, but no official ban yet. When we found out some of the bottles we have been using contains BPA, we were horrified. Here's a report on BPA on children products.

first halloween

We had fun with the Luceros last night. We went to their neighborhood and went trick or treating with all the kids. I worked in the morning yesterday, so I made a few phone calls at work and found out their still have some baby Halloween costumes at the Nobbies. I ran over there after work and got Eli a Tyrone costume. If you don't know what Tyrone is, I didn't, google search "Backyardigans". That's not my first choice of costume, but that's the best one I could find. He's still looks cute.

P.S. When I went to the mall today, they have a Halloween store there that has all kinds of baby costumes. They even have a lion costume that I wanted for Eli.

*Photos are provided by Amanda*

costume emergency

I got off early tonight, so I thought I could run over to the store to get Eli a Halloween costume. I went to Target, Babies R Us, and Nobbies, and I couldn't find any. Most of the costumes have been sold out. What am I gonna do? I'm not crafty enough to whip up a last minute costume. I think I'm going to try Walmart and maybe Spirit tomorrow after work. This is Eli's first Halloween, and it's important to me. Not to Eli, he won't know any difference.

I have been wanting to share this with you guys. These two guys are so hilarious. Every time I watched this video, I was gasping for air from laughing so hard.

playtime with dad

My husband doesn't want me to post this video because he thinks he looks awful. It was before bedtime, and he's already in his pajamas. I say who cares?! Nobody is going to be watching him, people are going to watch Eli and how cute he is. So here you go.

long overdue

Family and friends keep asking me for recent photos of Eli. I admit I have been slacking off. I have been enjoying our time together so much and forgot to share. He started standing on his own. Yesterday, he attempted to make his first step but not quite ready yet. He will be walking very soon. Here are a few long overdue pictures.

What's that smile? It's poopy diaper smile.

gas price

Gas price oh my gosh! I forgot the last time when gas price was under two dollars. When one of my patients told me gas went down to one ninety nine, I filled up our SUV after work. It only cost me twenty six something to fill up an empty tank. That's mid-western living for you.

my response

This post is a response to my friend's recent post "friends in cyber world". I'm so grateful for internet, e-mails, blogs and such. I'm a really shy person, and a classic introvert. I don't think there's anything wrong with being an introvert, and I have never had the desire to turn myself into an extrovert. I'm comfortable with the way I am. With that said, I found that e-mails, blogs, or anything in text forms are perfect communication tools for me. I like to think through my thoughts first, and I like to be able to edit my words so they are exactly the way I want before I share with others. This doesn't mean I always write long e-mails or blogs. Couple of well thought lines are just as genuine as bunch of nonsense words that come out of people's mouth. Just because I don't call someone doesn't mean I don't care about that person. How often do we feel annoyed we get a phone call from a friend that we don't want to talk to at the moment. Or when your friend wants to hang out with you, but you don't know how to say no. So you ended up engaging in something that you wish it will be over soon. When you e-mail someone, you don't have to worry about bothering that person or fear of rejection in your face. A lot of my friends and family get updates on me and my family through my blog. This way, I don't feel like I'm imposing my life on them. Not everyone is interested in you. But if they have a moment and would like to know how we have been doing, they can simply go to my blog. There are even photos and videos. That's about all I have to say.

a lay back guy

This is so unusual for a blog addict like me not to update my blog for this long. I haven't been consistently blogging. Motherhood is kicking my butt. Eli needs a lot of attentions, and even when he's just playing by himself, which he does a lot, I found myself want to spend all my free time with him. Sometimes I feel like I'm smothering him, but that's impossible. He's really lay back in general. While seeing a lot of kids who are always clinging to people, Eli, in comparison, seems like a loner. When he's in church nursery, he's always off to his own playing. He can play with other kids too, but when there's no one around, he's completely okay to play by himself. Sometimes, he will be looking into the distance thinking about something, then all of a sidden starts smiling. I can't wait for him to be able to share his imaginations with me, and I hope he will continue to be a lay back guy like his dad.

code blue

I know I have been MIA for a while. I have been that busy, but I have been feeling depressed lately. I'm not sure why, but I guess that happens when you are a living human being. Work has been going okay, until tonight. One of my patients coded tonight. It's hard to believe, but this is my first code in my six years of being a nurse. I had only had that patient for two hours when it happened. It all came down really quick, and my patient didn't make it. The worst thing was it happened right in front of my eyes. We were just helping her to reposition, all of a sudden she turned blue and was out. I had helped with a code before, but this was the first time it happened to my own patient. I tried to stay calm, but you could tell I was kinda nervous from my shaky voice. The family happened to be there already. They saw it happened too. After almost an hour of rescuing, the doctor took the family to a quieter room and explained to them that their loved one was not going to make it. I was standing in the corner trying to again stay calm. We are still not sure what happened. It seemed like the patient might have an aneurysm that bursted because they suctioned tons of blood from her abdomen. I keep playing the whole thing my head again and again trying to see if there's anything I missed or I could have done better. I know better not to be too hard on myself. If this happened to my co-workers, I would say the same too. We can't save everyone. Whatever happened, it was God's plan. No matter how hard we try, when God decided it's time, it's time. I pray though God would give me peace in my heart and strength to continue to do the job I love.

work sucked

I had the worst night at work tonight. I don't want to go into details because it will bore most of you. I kept thinking how it was unfair all the problems happened to my group of patients, and I was secretly complaining how nobody helped me. At the end of the night, I had to tell myself, shit happens. This time, it happened to be mine. Instead of throwing myself a pity party, I looked to all the helps I got from my co-workers. They did help me a lot, I was just too overwhelmed at one point to appreciate their help. I'm glad the night is over, so I can enjoy the next three days off.

Johnny Cash's little fan

Y'all wish you could dance like that, don't you? It's genetic. Don't you think he's the cutest! He is.

precious moments

Look what Eli can do now, clapping and giving out high five! It feels funny to high five someone with such tiny hands. The other one was just a silly video of us playing before I tried to put Eli down for a nap. I tell ya this baby is so smart, I'm sure he's going to take over the world someday.

socks suck

The only thing I don't like about the fall and winter is I have to start wearing socks. I recently realized how much I hate wearing socks. The other day it was raining, so I thought I had to wear shoes to keep my feet and toes dry. I was having the most difficult time to find a matching pair. Then I decided to screw it and just let my feet and pants get wet. That was probably my fault, because we put all our clean clothes on the bed in the guest room, and we don't bother to fold them. I also hate wearing socks because they make my feet itch. I have been wearing slippers all summer, and my feet loved it. Now I have to suffocate them with socks. It stinks. So will my feet.

sick again

I'm the blogger of this family. Peter{husband} has no interest in blogging though he used to have a blog. We revisited his old blog today. I told him he should start blogging again because he has great perspectives on things and he's so funny, but he said he doesn't like to advertise his thoughts. By the way, he's sick again, oh no! This is like a sick cycle that never ends. I hope Eli and I won't catch it this time. Contact isolation please.

Looks like I'm going to pick up some extra hours at work to help pay for some upcoming bills. Ah, the joy of being alive and responsible.

night terrors?

We just got woken up again. This is the third night in a row. Eli had been a really good sleeper, but few days ago, he started to wake up screaming in the middle of the night around 2-3. This is very frustrating and confusing for us first time parents. We thought things were going so well. I did some research on the internet while my husband was feeding Eli. Feeding seems to be the solution to every problem we have had with Eli. I'm not sure what is really going on, could it be night terrors? Ladies if you have any similar experiences or suggestions, please do share.

random thoughts

So I was talking to the girls at work last night. I love girl talk. We talked about relationships, friendships, work, just all the good stuff. I miss having my girl friends here. They are back in Hong Kong, and I'm here... None of my friends back home are married. I know many people have trouble to stay connected with their non-parent friends after they have babies. I don't think that would be the case for me and my friends if they were here. We are like family. Even though we haven't seen each other for a few years, we talk all the time online. We care about each other a lot, and they always ask about Eli. We never had problem picking up where we had left off every time I went back to visit. So yeah, I miss them a lot. Lucky me though, I have made some good friends here through church and work. I don't have any asian friends here. Many people think that's strange. Having friends that are the same ethnicity as me is not that important. It's more important to me that my friends have the same faith and similar values as me. We are so blessed to belong to a wonderful church. We have made friends with most of the people there regardless of their ages. Sometimes I feel that having a baby has helped me open up to people more. Maybe it's because I love talking to people about my baby and parenthood.

favorite time of the year

My favorite time of the year has started. Unfortunately I have welcomed it with a cold along with my family. I hope there will be no more cold or flu for the rest of the year. I'm so looking forward to all of the fall and winter holidays this year because they will be Eli's first. First Halloween, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, and first New Year. Ahh! I can hardly wait.

baptism

Eli and I were baptized together today. It did not go as smoothly as we hoped. That's expected though. There's no way Eli would stay quiet and cooperative the whole time. With all eyes on us, Eli was whining and squirming constantly. My husband was having a hard time to contain Eli in his arms. I was nervous when our pastor took him from my husband's arms. I was worried that he would be kicking and screaming. Fortunately he was captivated by the new face and was quiet and still long enough for the cleansing. He has been showing some attitudes tin he last couple days, which has really drove his parents nuts. At the same time, he does a lot of sweet and cute things daily that completely wipe out all the frustrations we have with him. Tonight my husband was shaking his head, and Eli was copying him. He makes us laugh everyday.

Eli and dad dancing

I have a wonderful husband, and he's also a wonderful dad. Eli loves his dad too. He feels safe and content in his arms. Dad is so in love with Eli, I know because he told me so everyday. Eli loves his dad too. He greets his dad with a big baby grin every morning. Their favorite time together would have to be dancing to their favorite music.