Friday, September 28, 2007

It has been a miserable week. Starting Monday night, I started to notice my left big toe and the area around had swollen up pretty bad. I couldn't wiggle my big toe and it was very painful to walk on it. Actually it would be throbbing with pain even when I'm not on my feet. At first I didn't think too much of it, I thought maybe it's just pregnancy swelling or maybe it's caused by all the walking I did over the weekend. The next day I went to work limping. I was hoping it would get better on its own. In fact it got worse, so they let me be the secretary for the rest of the day. It almost killed me walking to my car after work. My colleague thought she might have to put me in a wheelchair. The next morning, it's still not better. I finally had Peter take me to the urgent care. The doctor thought it might be gout. When he pressed on the sore area, I thought I was going to kick the doctor in the face. They drew some blood to see if my uric acid level is up. The doctor told me I shouldn't go to work for at least a couple days. I felt bad because I knew without me, that would put them short at work. Besides, I don't want to use up all my sick time with my maternity leave coming up. After discussing with my supervisor, we decided I could sit in to be the secretary again. Not sure if that was a good idea, because my foot had gotten so big at that point, I couldn't even squeeze it into my shoe. I managed to get through work. When I came home couple nights ago, I went to bed with my feet elevated on couple pillows. It's supposed to help with the swelling. Few hours later, I was woken up by a severe leg cramp. It just happened to be on my left leg. My calf was hard like a rock. Usually Peter's here to massage it for me, or I can relieve it by flexing my toes and feet. There's no way I could do that this time. Not only could I not get rid of the cramp in my leg, my foot was also throbbing with pain. I was so helpless. That's why I'm still awake right now, I'm too scared to go to sleep tonight without my husband standby. Anyway, I checked my lab result at work, it was normal. That means it's not gout. I started to worry maybe it's infection. I feel much relieved now that the swelling finally went down, and the pain has subsided quite a bit. We may never know what was wrong with my foot, but I'm glad I can walk again.

I have to mention the doctor I had at the urgent care, Dr. Bremen, is without a doubt the best doctor I have ever met. Being a nurse, I have met plenty of doctors, but no one can match up to Dr. Bremen. He has such wonderful bedside manner. First of all, he came in with a big smile on his face, and he was cracking jokes the whole time. He called me and Peter by our names. He made eye contact with us, and occasionally he would put his hand on my shoulder. He must have spent at least 10 minutes in the room, that's a lengthy time in doctors' term. What was even more shocking, he called me the next day personally to tell me the lab result was normal and asked how I was doing. When he told me they were going to let me know the result, I was expecting a nurse to call me. He even told me to call him first thing next week to let him know whether my foot is better or not. Dr. Bremen used to be an ER doctor at the hospital I work, so when I mentioned him to my co-workers, they were all aware of how great he is. Even though it has been a sucky week, Dr. Bremen has made my week a lot better.
I'm an introvert. I never knew how introverts are misunderstood, until I read the article Caring For Your Introvert. I have an extrovert friend asked me in more than one occasions if I dislike talking to people and thinks that I appear to be arrogant sometimes. I suppose I can be mistaken as rude or arrogant to those that don't know me. My close friends and family know I'm nothing like that. I admit I'm slow to open up, and I hate being in a group social situation with lots of small talks. I can really relate to the author of this article. The majority of the population is extrovert, that's why the introverts are misrepresented. I don't think I'm a shy person. When I can't think of anything to say, I prefer to be quiet. I consider myself to have good social skills. As a nurse, I meet different people every day. It's up to me to make my patients feel welcomed and comfortable with my care. If I'm too shy or antisocial, I wouldn't be able to do that everyday. After work, I'd like to be me. Some people assume just because I don't talk much, I must not care. In fact, because I actually listen to others when they talk, I can get to know a person better than my extrovert friends do. I have been in so many situations where all these extrovert people keep talking, mostly about nothing, but in the end, they seem to have not heard each other at all. I often have to fill them in of what the others have said or correct them because they have misunderstood each other. I also think that introverts can read people better, because we actually take the time to observe. One of the disadvantages of being an introvert is often time people, the extroverts, assume you must be lonely and uninteresting. Introvert does not equal loneliness, nor are we anti-people. I don't need constant company to feel fulfilled. I enjoy having alone time to reflect. I also love making friends, but I think the introverts have a different friend making philosophy than the extroverts. I don't need to have tens and hundreds of people I can call friends, I just need a few people I can have close meaningful friendships with. In this case, quality is definitely more important than quantity. That doesn't mean I'm not friendly with people. I'm just not "in your face" kind of friendly. Most of us introverts are content with our trait, and we understand how the extroverts are different from us. Most extroverts seem to think the introverts should be more like them. They think maybe if we are more like them, we will be happier. No matter how uncomfortable and tiring my extrovert friends may have made me feel sometimes , I have never asked them to be less extroverted. In other words, I would not want them to change for me. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being an extrovert or an introvert. We just ask you to try to understand respect us and occasionally give us room to breath.