Wednesday, January 09, 2008

My life has turned upside down for a week now. Things are getting better everyday. I have a feeling my blog will be all about burping, diapers, and sore nipples for a while. I developed a mild case of baby blues when I first came home. I would cry a lot usually after the sun goes down. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to love my son. My friend said she felt like she was a babysitter instead of a mom the first month after she had her first son. That's exactly how I felt. I had a baby crying and screaming and I didn't know what he wanted most of the time. How do you deal with a baby that cries constantly? I was scared of my own baby. I tried everything, the five S's, breastfeeding, cuddling with him. Just as I thought I had a defected baby, things seemed a little bit brighter when I saw his smile for the first time. I think he had a small laugh one time when he made a "hee-hee" sound. When things get really tough, I just have to remind myself about that smile or laugh, and everything will be just fine.