Bath time...

What are we doing?

Wait! I don't want to, don't make me. Wah!!!!!

What is this? Water?

This isn't so bad.

This wash cloth is yummy.

Happy to be 1 month old.

點解人生BB﹐我生BB﹐但是我生的是個大喊包?你日喊夜喊難道不累嗎?小小的個子何來喊得聲嘶力歇的肺?真是說他喊到拆屋一點都無誇張。雖然做媽媽的看到自己的Baby喊得那麼淒涼會很心痛﹐但有時他哭得起勁時會無意間笑一下﹐看見他那個哭笑難分的可愛樣子真是不知好嬲定好笑。

Eli has reached his 1 month old mark. He's thriving everyday beautifully. Of course, some days are harder than others, a heck lot harder. It's never clear what makes him happy or sad. No matter what you do, sometimes he just likes to be a grump. I love how he will start to smile, but then all of a sudden he decides he wants to cry for eternity instead. Regardless, I still treasure that split second of smile. I'm sure that's just the beginning of more long last happy moments. As for me, my first month of motherhood has taught me so much. I have learned I'm much more patient than I thought. I also for the first time truly appreciate the nice set of breasts God has blessed me with. They are not made to fit the expensive lace bra or to make me feel more like a woman. They are for nurturing my baby, which makes me a good mom. I'm not going to apologize for saying that either. Making milk is the one thing I'm good at right now. I wonder what I can do next.

I found a cute little store today called "Eden". They sell fragrances, novelty soaps, candles etc. all my favorites. I was going there to get the Kai body buffer that was shown on Oprah's favorite things. Apparently everyone saw the show and was trying to get their hands on this. I wasn't able to get it at the store, but I already ordered it online. Anyhow, this has become my new favorite store. I like how it's not like most fragrance stores where the smells are so strong that put people off. I always find it calming to burn a nice scented candle. It must be a nice job to have working with so many nice aromas everyday.

Breastfeeding is no easy task. It takes skill and a great deal of patience. No doubt breast milk is the best food for babies, but I understand why many women give up breastfeeding, I almost did. It's hard to continue when your nipples start to crack and bleed. It's easy to want to take the easy way out to bottle feed, it's easier and no pain. But you have to remind yourself you want what's best for your baby. I haven't mastered breastfeeding yet, but it's getting easier. That seems to be the way with my newfound motherhood. Just keeps getting better.

These are my few favorite things these days:
1.Nutella spread. I love putting it on graham crackers.
2.Sophia Shorai's version of "Hello Goodbye" from the Target commercial. I'm addicted.
3.Rice congee with chicken that my mom makes.
4.My Moby wrap. Eli usually falls asleep minutes after I put him in it. It's a life saver.

These days I have been obsessed with reading anything babies related online. As a new mom, I feel so inadequate. I think I have read everything there is to read, but I still feel helpless, like a kid playing mom. Today started out as a terrible day. Actually it started last night when Eli was crying on and off for three hours and kept my mom and I awake. We did everything we could think of but nothing helped. He didn't go back to sleep until five this morning. During this whole ordeal, my mom told me to go back to sleep and she would take care of the baby. I couldn't sleep hearing my baby crying his lungs out. I'm very sensitive to any noise Eli makes. I know babies make noise, and it doesn't always mean they are in pain. That's something I need to learn to adjust. Every time I hear even the slightest sound coming from the bassinet, I run over to check if he's okay. Most of the time it was just him trying to pass gas in sleep. I feel terrible every time he cries, and if I can't console him, I feel like a bad mom. I wonder what he thinks of his mom when he's screaming for help and his mom doesn't have a clue what he wants. Every night I go to bed praying to God for patience and wisdom to care for my precious little one.

So that wasn't it. We thought we found the solution of Eli's constant crying, but we were back to the same old crying phase today. He's the biggest cry baby I have ever met. It bothers me a great deal when I hear him cry even though I know that doesn't always mean he's hurting, just the way babies communicate. It quickly turns into frustration when I can't figure out what he wants. I have done everything, feeding, burping, changing, cuddling, back to feeding again but nothing seems to help. Does anyone speak baby?

We have had a couple of rough days with Eli. He seemed to be having a lot of indigestion. He usually arches his back and his face turns bright red when he tries to pass gas or have a bowel movement. At first we thought it's normal, every baby has gas, but lately he has been doing that constantly. It got to a point where it affected his feeding. I had watched my diet and avoided food that would cause gas in breastfeeding babies, but that didn't help. He had gotten more irritable and impossible to console. We finally got him some Mylicon anti-gas drop, and I think it has helped. He felt asleep within minutes after we gave him the drop. Poor baby and his little body, I hope we have found the solution.

This is one of my favorite high school pictures. Can you tell which one is me? I'm at the front row the 4th one from the left. I have so many good memories and some good friends whom I still keep in touch with today even though we are thousands of miles apart. We were all once so innocent and carefree. As much as I miss that, I'm glad I'm where I'm at right now. I have a great job, comfortable house, and most importantly a lovely family. It may sound weird, but sometimes I enjoy having responsibilities. They remind me of my purposes in life.

After much considerations, I decided to get a laptop. The only computers we have are in the basement, and since I spend a lot of time on the internet everyday, this will make it easier for me to watch the baby. Tuesday we went to the Bestbuy nearby, but they only had the displays but nothing in stock. They told us they are focusing on their TVs sales right now because of the football season, and the best time to buy computer is in Feb. By then they will have most of them in stock. Why would they display something that they don't have in stock? It will be faster if I get it online. Luckily, we found the one we want at a different location next day. By the way, after being trapped at home for a couple weeks, it's nice to get out and get some fresh air. Having a baby at home has made me a speedy shopper. I had to make sure to get back on time to feed the baby. Besides, I actually missed him.

I dug out couple of my baby pictures to see if we look any alike. Looks like he got his chubby cheeks from me. It wasn't that long ago when I was a baby myself. Hard to imagine I would grow up and have a baby of my own.

My life has turned upside down for a week now. Things are getting better everyday. I have a feeling my blog will be all about burping, diapers, and sore nipples for a while. I developed a mild case of baby blues when I first came home. I would cry a lot usually after the sun goes down. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to love my son. My friend said she felt like she was a babysitter instead of a mom the first month after she had her first son. That's exactly how I felt. I had a baby crying and screaming and I didn't know what he wanted most of the time. How do you deal with a baby that cries constantly? I was scared of my own baby. I tried everything, the five S's, breastfeeding, cuddling with him. Just as I thought I had a defected baby, things seemed a little bit brighter when I saw his smile for the first time. I think he had a small laugh one time when he made a "hee-hee" sound. When things get really tough, I just have to remind myself about that smile or laugh, and everything will be just fine.

It's been a week since Eli was born. Thing are getting a little bit better. He still cries a lot. I wonder if he has baby colic. He has shown some signs and symptoms of it, and I was told that colic runs in my husband's family. Last night was Peter's first night going back to work. I was quite nervous about handling Eli by myself at night. Peter has been the one doing most of the diaper changes and putting him to sleep. I have no problem with changing diapers, but I suck at calming him down. I get frustrated and lose my patience easily. After trying for two hours putting Eli to sleep without success, my mom came to my rescue. She took over so I could take a nap. When I woke up, I found Eli sleeping in bed with her calmly and peacefully. He ended up sleeping 4 hours straight twice last night. This morning, he's more alert and was able to interact more. Same with me too, I feel most rested since I have been back from the hospital. I'm so grateful my mom's here.

Our first baby boy Elijah Michael Armstrong is finally here. He's two weeks early, but because of a sudden onset of mild preeclampsia, they decided to induce me. I would love to write a lengthy blog about how my three days labor induction went, but my body is still not up for it yet. The important thing is we have a healthy and beautiful baby in the end. We brought him home two days ago. Trying to adjust to the new mommy role is not easy. It's very overwhelming at times. I wouldn't be able to do it without the support of my husband, family and friends.

My mom got in okay last night. What a relief. This is the first time my mom has ever seen snow. She saw the ones along the street and thought they were styrofoams. Oh silly mom. I was really worried about my mom traveling by herself because of her bad case of motion sickness and very limited english speaking. She told me she got lost a few times at the O'Hare airport and had to ask people for directions. I guess she's not as helpless as I thought. I'm looking forward to this weekend because both Peter and I have four days weekend off together.

Okay, I'm officially sick of being pregnant. My tummy is getting heavier, feet are more swollen than ever, breasts are freaking sore, just feeling more miserable everyday, and yet no signs of labor. They said the baby will come when he's ready, but I'm ready NOW! I have more people telling me how uncomfortable I look, that's because I am. When I told people I'm only couple weeks away, some of them said I carry it well. What the heck does that mean? How come I don't feel so well? I don't want to do anything anymore. Just wanna lay down and wait for it to happen. I'm sure when it does happen, I'm going to freak out. I just hope that he's not going to be a giant baby.

We had our Christmas this pass Sunday since both Peter and I have to work on Christmas and unable to go to KC to join the clan. We got so many baby gifts, mostly clothes. Gee, what a spoiled baby already.

The bathroom is almost done. Peter has been working so hard everyday to get everything ready. He's doing housework on top of remodeling the bathroom. I know it's all worth it in the end, but sometimes it breaks my heart to see him working so hard. I know he's really tired. It's a good thing my mom is coming early, she's going to help out around the house. As for me, I will try my best to be patient.

P.S. If anyone has any suggestions on how to induce labor naturally, pass it along my way.

It's getting really cold. I have to watch my steps extra carefully now a day. I almost fell on ice the other day. Good thing husband was there to catch me. As I am getting closer to my due date, I'm getting butterflies in my stomach. I wonder what it will be like to meet this little person for the first time. We still don't have a name picked out yet, but we are constantly working on it. I was looking at some of the babies clothes today and couldn't believe how tiny they are. Also, I started to feel more braxton hicks lately. Holy crap! I'm really going to have a baby real soon.

Who will you vote this time around? Better yet, how would you vote? Most people vote for their own party regardless of what they believe, and that's the downfall of the bipartisan system. What about voting as a Christian? I don't believe that God is neither democrat or republican. Most Christians like to say that if you are a Christian, then you must vote for a republican. Really? Let's look at one of this year republican candidates for example, Rudy Giuliani. How much of a Christian am I if I vote for someone who's pro-abortion and pro-gay marriage? The thing is now a day, it's unclear what makes a democrat democrat, or a republican republican. As Christians, we should vote for Christian values not a particular party. A lot of Christians think that it's a non-Christian thing to not to vote. They think God gave us the right to vote, and we should exercise it even when the choices are against Christian values. They like to use the "lesser evil" approach. If I have only two candidates to choose, and both of them are anti-Christ, choosing either of them would be wrong. As Christians, we should not partake or endorse any sins, not even political sins. This is not intended to discourage people from voting. I will only cast my vote to someone who I believe represents the Christian principles and not just vote for the sake of voting.

We are so broke. I'm looking at our bank statement online, and it's not pretty. Thanks to the baby, our expenses are going to be huge these few months. I'm sure it will continue to expand. Anyone want to donate to the first time parents fund?

I put in my usual 12 hours work yesterday with only 1 hour of sleep the night before. That's what happen when you have too much diet mountain dew. I need to switch to caffeine free. Needless to say, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep tonight. The problem is I woke up 4 hours later. That's why I'm up blogging at 3 in the morning. At least that's 4 times longer than I slept last night.

Does anyone hate Walmart as much as I do? I don't usually shop at Walmart unless it's for special occasion like when I need to get a gag gift for a white elephant gift exchange. So yesterday I wanted to make chili, and I needed to get a dutch oven. I didn't want to commit to an expensive Le Creuset since I didn't know how often I will be using it. After searching online for a bit, I found this nice reasonably priced one at Walmart. I went to store and they were out. When I asked one of the Walmart "friendly" employee that's stocking nearby if she could find out if another Walmart had it. She hesitated for a second and said she would have to walk to the jewelry counter to call. I could sense that she found my request troublesome. From what I saw, the jewelry counter was only 15 feet away, so I said okay. When we got the counter, she asked this other lady to make the call. I didn't think it would be a problem since they seemed to be having a slow day at the jewelry counter. This lady was even more put off by it. She leaned over the counter with an annoyed face, and she was biting her nails the whole time we were waiting for the other store to pick up. I finally had enough and told them to forget about it. There's no smiley face there. I ended up going to Bath Bed & Beyond and got a Caphalon one like this one.

Yes, it costed me four times more, but the purchase was much more pleasant.

Oh, looks like I have time to get one more hour of sleep before I start my 12 hours work day.

Dear Rice and Pasta,
I miss you...

Things are coming along nicely. Peter has put down the floor in the bathroom. It looks good. We have also cleared out the used to be computer room to turn it into a nursery room. We have chosen the classic Winnie the Pooh theme. I'm not a big Pooh fan, but the classic Pooh Bear just screams nursery. Besides, Peter insisted on them. I thought I was lucky just to get him to go to the store with me, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that he actually cared enough to have an opinion about the nursery. Doesn't it look cute though?

Aunt Suzy and Lynne got us the bedding set, a Pooh Bear plush toy, some decorations, and some baby clothes. They are so nice and soft. What a lucky baby. Tomorrow I will continue my search for the perfect car seat and stroller.

I'm playing with gif files. Never knew how easy it is. It's kinda fun.

I was going to have my first baby shower today, but it was canceled due to the untimely winter storm. Boo~ I was looking forward to see our Kansas cousins this weekend. Of course I'm disappointed, but I'd rather them be safe and stay home. Peter finally put together the crib. I'm at 34th week now, technically I can give birth anytime now without any risk. I think tomorrow we are going to shop for stroller and car seat. I can't believe how many choices there are. We want one that's sturdy but not bulky. We still haven't decided if we are going to be cloth or disposable diapers. Personally I prefer cloth, but I'm not sure how leak proof they are. I can't believe how many things we still need to get. I'm so grateful for baby shower.

The hospital gift shop and salon were having a sale today. Everything was 30% off. Didn't really need anything, but I went to check it out anyway. There I saw this tourmaline ceramic flat iron marked as $120. My first reaction was "what the?!", and it's not even a CHI. After listening to my co-workers who have this kind of flat irons, though not the same brand, telling me how well they work and how much they love theirs blah blah blah... I was convinced it's worth the money. I thought I had a good deal when it ended up being $84 after the discount until I looked it up online tonight. They cost less than $70 every site I looked at. Needless to say, I'm pretty pissed right now. I feel like a SUCKER. I'm going to call them tomorrow and demand a refund.

I'm sure anyone who reads my blog can sense that I have been a little down lately. To perk myself up, I went to get myself some new makeup. I'm quite happy with my purchases. After much researches online, I decided to try Laura Mercier's foundation stick and foundation powder.

I have used Laura's foundation before. I was very pleased with it, but I'm a makeup junkie, so I never just stick with one thing. I had since then switched to Bobbi Brown and Cliniqe. I'm glad to finally be back with Laura again. I wore the two foundations all day at work today, and I was very happy with the result. Not only did they not feel heavy on my face, my complexion was completely evened out giving me a "flawless face" look (Laura Mercier's signature look). I also bought a new blush from NARS called Orgasm.

Such a beautiful color that will compliment any skin tone. I feel a little better already.

Bathroom renovation updates. We still got a long way to go. My favorite part is the glass block window. All done by Peter. The tiles are not perfectly align. Peter said it adds a little character. I don't know about that, but I'm just gonna have to deal with it. It's too late to take it all down and redo it now.

This is the color we picked for the wall. It's called plum passion. It's hard to see in the pictures, but it's a light green, and it goes well with our salmon color tub.

I hope to be able to post the final product real soon. I miss taking baths.

Feeling nauseous this morning... I have been up for 18 hours. As I'm yawning in front of the monitor, I try to think of anything to do besides going to sleep. I'm being irresponsible.

I have not been watching my diet as closely as I should. Even though I have only gained 1lb in the past 3 weeks, I feel like a bad mom already. This baby sure knows how to put a guilt trip on his mama.

(Yawning...)

It's been an emotional roller coaster day today. I had a doctor appointment today. Everything is fine, but before the appointment, I had a nervous breakdown. I'm not sure what pushed me over the edge. All of a sudden I had this unexplainable and overwhelming anger. Instead of controlling it, I let it control me. I was hysterical. After 20 minutes of crying, throwing and kicking things, I finally calmed down. I still don't know what came over me, but sure it would be concerning if I wasn't pregnant. These days I blame everything on hormone.

These are Peter's favorite cookies "toffee crunch cookies". He has been begging me to bake these. They have oatmeal, toffee bits, coconut and almond in them. I know it may sound too much, but all the ingredients compliment each other very well. Because these are thin cookies, they are not as rich as you may think. I was going to bake a cake too, but it's 3am already. I think I need to get some sleep especially when I'm still dealing with some leftover bronchitis. Now I'm going to bed smelling like cookies. Um... how sweet.

Every year I look forward to Thanksgiving, but this year I'm a little freaked out. This Thanksgiving reminds me just how close I am to my due date. By Christmas, I will be in a state of panic. In a couple months, I will be holding a tiny person in my arms. That's just too weird. Before I start hyperventilating, I should remind myself how blessed I am. I truly am grateful for what God has provided me and my husband all these years, and now He has blessed us with our first baby. We indeed have so much to be thankful for.

Our bathroom renovation is going along nicely. Husband is doing a fine job, I just hope that it will be done on time. I can tell Peter is feeling the pressure too as the baby due date approaching quickly. Today he worked on the glass block window. It turned out so good. I will post some pictures later. We have subway tiles all around, and we picked out an elegant pedestal sink. I think when it's done, it's going to look awesome.

Good news! My mom got her visa, and it's good for 10 years. She probably won't stay the whole 10 years, but at least she can get in and out of the U.S. without problem. She plans on staying for 6 months this time. Can't wait to have mom's home cook meals again.

I'm sick again. I have gotten sick so many times since I have become pregnant. I was feeling fine all day, then while we were at Lowes picking out paint color, all of a sudden I felt very weak and achy all over. It was strange. My legs were so weak that they were about to give out. I had to get up in the middle of the night and slept on the couch because my throat was too sore when I was lying down. While I was lying semi-comfortably on the couch, I saw this news on TV talking about an outbreak of a mutated cold virus that has killed 10 people in the U.S. Being a dramatic emotional pregnant woman as I am, my first thought was that must be what I have, I'm dying. So I rolled off the couch and looked it up on the internet. Although I have some similar symptoms, I don't think that's what I have. If you are reading this, please do pray for me for an uneventful final stretch of my pregnancy. I can't believe we are almost there.

Amanda is hosting a baby shower for me. She even used one of the pictures she took to make the invite. How nice!

My friend Amanda took these pictures. I thought they were a little cheesy at first, but it's my first pregnancy, and I'd like to share this experience with my family and friends. There are more in my photo album.

So many updates, but so little energy. I have developed gestational diabetes, so I have been checking my blood sugar and counting carbs. Good thing I only have couple months left. So far I have been able to keep it under control most of the time. I let my blood sugar slip once a while, but not bad at all. I didn't gain anything, in fact I lost 1 lb since the last doctor visit. I will still have to watch it after the baby, they said most women develop type 2 diabetes few years later.

My mom is going to apply for her visa. I wish her luck, and hope that they will let her stay for at least 6 months. I will take as much as I can get.

So I failed my first glucose test, I FAILED! Now I have to go back to have the three hour test. A lot of women fail the first one and pass the second one. I hope I pass. During my last visit, the nurse practitioner said we have to watch my weight. I must have gained more than expected in the past few weeks. I feel like a big fat cow. I should probably start some light exercise like walking. I have been so inactive lately mainly because of lack of energy. Maybe some exercise will do me good and give me more energy.

Peter has done a lot of cleaning and fixing up around the house lately. I'm so grateful to have such loving and wonderful husband.

This my new go to video when I need a good laugh. So adorable and contagious.

Concerned Inventor

My personalDNA Report

It has been a miserable week. Starting Monday night, I started to notice my left big toe and the area around had swollen up pretty bad. I couldn't wiggle my big toe and it was very painful to walk on it. Actually it would be throbbing with pain even when I'm not on my feet. At first I didn't think too much of it, I thought maybe it's just pregnancy swelling or maybe it's caused by all the walking I did over the weekend. The next day I went to work limping. I was hoping it would get better on its own. In fact it got worse, so they let me be the secretary for the rest of the day. It almost killed me walking to my car after work. My colleague thought she might have to put me in a wheelchair. The next morning, it's still not better. I finally had Peter take me to the urgent care. The doctor thought it might be gout. When he pressed on the sore area, I thought I was going to kick the doctor in the face. They drew some blood to see if my uric acid level is up. The doctor told me I shouldn't go to work for at least a couple days. I felt bad because I knew without me, that would put them short at work. Besides, I don't want to use up all my sick time with my maternity leave coming up. After discussing with my supervisor, we decided I could sit in to be the secretary again. Not sure if that was a good idea, because my foot had gotten so big at that point, I couldn't even squeeze it into my shoe. I managed to get through work. When I came home couple nights ago, I went to bed with my feet elevated on couple pillows. It's supposed to help with the swelling. Few hours later, I was woken up by a severe leg cramp. It just happened to be on my left leg. My calf was hard like a rock. Usually Peter's here to massage it for me, or I can relieve it by flexing my toes and feet. There's no way I could do that this time. Not only could I not get rid of the cramp in my leg, my foot was also throbbing with pain. I was so helpless. That's why I'm still awake right now, I'm too scared to go to sleep tonight without my husband standby. Anyway, I checked my lab result at work, it was normal. That means it's not gout. I started to worry maybe it's infection. I feel much relieved now that the swelling finally went down, and the pain has subsided quite a bit. We may never know what was wrong with my foot, but I'm glad I can walk again.

I have to mention the doctor I had at the urgent care, Dr. Bremen, is without a doubt the best doctor I have ever met. Being a nurse, I have met plenty of doctors, but no one can match up to Dr. Bremen. He has such wonderful bedside manner. First of all, he came in with a big smile on his face, and he was cracking jokes the whole time. He called me and Peter by our names. He made eye contact with us, and occasionally he would put his hand on my shoulder. He must have spent at least 10 minutes in the room, that's a lengthy time in doctors' term. What was even more shocking, he called me the next day personally to tell me the lab result was normal and asked how I was doing. When he told me they were going to let me know the result, I was expecting a nurse to call me. He even told me to call him first thing next week to let him know whether my foot is better or not. Dr. Bremen used to be an ER doctor at the hospital I work, so when I mentioned him to my co-workers, they were all aware of how great he is. Even though it has been a sucky week, Dr. Bremen has made my week a lot better.

I'm an introvert. I never knew how introverts are misunderstood, until I read the article Caring For Your Introvert. I have an extrovert friend asked me in more than one occasions if I dislike talking to people and thinks that I appear to be arrogant sometimes. I suppose I can be mistaken as rude or arrogant to those that don't know me. My close friends and family know I'm nothing like that. I admit I'm slow to open up, and I hate being in a group social situation with lots of small talks. I can really relate to the author of this article. The majority of the population is extrovert, that's why the introverts are misrepresented. I don't think I'm a shy person. When I can't think of anything to say, I prefer to be quiet. I consider myself to have good social skills. As a nurse, I meet different people every day. It's up to me to make my patients feel welcomed and comfortable with my care. If I'm too shy or antisocial, I wouldn't be able to do that everyday. After work, I'd like to be me. Some people assume just because I don't talk much, I must not care. In fact, because I actually listen to others when they talk, I can get to know a person better than my extrovert friends do. I have been in so many situations where all these extrovert people keep talking, mostly about nothing, but in the end, they seem to have not heard each other at all. I often have to fill them in of what the others have said or correct them because they have misunderstood each other. I also think that introverts can read people better, because we actually take the time to observe. One of the disadvantages of being an introvert is often time people, the extroverts, assume you must be lonely and uninteresting. Introvert does not equal loneliness, nor are we anti-people. I don't need constant company to feel fulfilled. I enjoy having alone time to reflect. I also love making friends, but I think the introverts have a different friend making philosophy than the extroverts. I don't need to have tens and hundreds of people I can call friends, I just need a few people I can have close meaningful friendships with. In this case, quality is definitely more important than quantity. That doesn't mean I'm not friendly with people. I'm just not "in your face" kind of friendly. Most of us introverts are content with our trait, and we understand how the extroverts are different from us. Most extroverts seem to think the introverts should be more like them. They think maybe if we are more like them, we will be happier. No matter how uncomfortable and tiring my extrovert friends may have made me feel sometimes , I have never asked them to be less extroverted. In other words, I would not want them to change for me. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being an extrovert or an introvert. We just ask you to try to understand respect us and occasionally give us room to breath.

It's a boy! We had an ultrasound today, and we got to see the baby moving his little arms and legs. When the ultrasound tech was trying to get a good picture of the baby's face, he was covering his face with his hand. We finally got one, but he looked like an alien. Hope he doesn't come out looking like that. So glad we can finally call the baby "He", and we can start brainstorming some baby boy names. We are going to Minneapolis tomorrow. This may be our last trip before the baby comes.

今天照超聲波照到是仔呀！有小小驚喜。其實男女都無所為﹐最重要是健康。除了看性別﹐還檢查BB各個器官是否發展正常。還好﹐一切正常﹐而且醫生話BB的發展的比一些同樣週期的BB快一點﹐不過不會影響到個預產期。終於可以開始構思BB名了。

Second day into my cold, I feel miserable. Though I feel very weak, I can't sleep anymore. I have my husband to thank for this. He was sick over the weekend. He's always the first one to get sick, and I always follow. I plan on doing more sleeping and laying around today. Hopefully I can go back to work tomorrow. I have using my paid time off, because I'm trying to save up for my maternity leave.

哎呀！又病了。今次傷風又是老公害的。每次他病完就到我﹐真是同病雙連。以經病了一整天﹐開始有好轉﹐但是還是很累和四肢無力﹐還是告多天病假好了。下個星期五會照超聲波﹐檢查BB是否一切正常﹐到時還可以知道BB的性別。

今日焗了些雪藏蛋撻﹐都幾好味﹐但是一食令我忽然間好想好想飲維他檸檬茶。但是這邊無得買﹐嗚~

I went to a farewell party tonight and had a lovely time. The best part of the day though was when I went to get a pedicure. I hadn't had one for a long time. I did my own nails last couple times, to be honest, it is worth the money. When the gal massaged my pregnant feet and legs, it felt especially nice this time. I almost fell asleep. There's no way I will paint my own nails again, besides, I can hardly reach my toes now. Tomorrow we are going to the stork affair, I'm excited.

I think I have started to feel the baby moving in my belly. It's a funny feeling for sure. It feels like little bubbles popping. Peter put his hand on my tummy to see if he can feel it too, but it's still too soon for that I think. My carpel tunnel problem hasn't improved much. I'm just going to have to deal with it.

So I started a journal on my pregnancy. I think I'm going to extend it to motherhood. I was listening to Dr. Laura the other day, and one lady said she has been keeping a journal on each of her kids. Nothing fancy and deep, just small entries on the cute and not so cute things her kids do. She's going to give her kids the journals when they turn 21. I think that's a great idea. Wouldn't it be fun to read about your mom's thoughts when you drew her her first mother's day card or when you were really sick that time? So far I have been writing about the doctor's visits. We just had our third one Friday. I'm always paranoid about how the baby's doing especially when I can't feel the baby's movement yet. Hearing the heart beat was a relief for me. I think I have gained 20 lbs already. We scheduled an ultrasound for our next visit. I can't wait to see if we are having a boy or girl.

Blogging has become a difficult task for me lately. I have developed carpal tunnel syndrome. I guess this happens to a lot of pregnancy women. The numbness and tingling make it hard for me to hold things. Every morning I wake up with such pain in my hands, I even have trouble making fists. I finally got a brace last night, and it seems to help so far. Besides this, I haven been feeling okay. Of course there's the usual fatigue, but not much nausea. We heard the baby's heart beat at our last doctor visit. It was weird.

Happy July 4th everyone! We had an early celebration yesterday at the church bbq then watched the fireworks together. It was funny how some of the little kids were scared of the fireworks and some were super excited. Tonight I worked until 7 and had the rest of the night by myself. I went and got some great sushi takeout. I had so much that I don't think I want to eat any sushi for a while. This pregnancy has been good to me so far. I have only been having some nausea and fatigue. Although I hate that feeling, I know it could be worse. I hope I continue to feel good and healthy through the rest of my pregnancy.

So we really like this guy Ron Paul. He's one of the republican presidential candidates. He's a 10th-term congressman of the 14th congressional distric of Texas. He's also a retired OB doctor. He a lot of great ideas that have made him stand out from the rest of the candidates. You may not have heard a lot of him because the mainstream media tries to hide him from the public. Even the republican party wants to get him out even though he is gaining his popularity rapidly on the internet. They even tried to ban him from the last presidential debate. He is an advocate for the Constitution. They nicknamed him "Dr. No" because he votes against any bill he believes to be violating the Constitution. They tried to get him out of the debates, but again and again, different polls show he came out on top. We were excited to hear that he's coming to Des Moines to speak yesterday at a local event center, just next door to the Republican candidates forum sponsored by the Iowa Christian Alliance and Iowans for Tax Relief. Ron Paul was the only GOP candidates excluded from the event. We were glad that we got to be there. There were about 1,000 audience at the Ron Paul event compared to several hundreds that showed up at the other forum. The room was packed. So we were really confused and angry when the local news reported there was only a hand full of people. They only showed a small group of supporters that were rallying outside. They even went as far as saying that they offered free food in order to attract people to his event. Okay yeah, so all the people from different states, Illnois, California and many others, traveled across the country here just for the free burgers or pretzels. Give me a break! It's so shameful that even local news will do that. So if you want to check out Ron Paul yourself instead of letting the mainstream media tells you who to vote for, go to http://ronpaul2008.com or youtube and type in Ron Paul. You may not agree with him or even think that his ideas are too crazy for today's America, but at least he gives you something different to think about.

I had my first strong case of morning sickness today. I woke up with a terrible headache and nausea. I felt like I wasn't sick enough to call in though, so I went to work as usual. Few hours into my work, my nausea got worse, and at one point I had to rush to the bathroom thinking I was going to throw up. Luckily I didn't, but dry heaving was just as bad. There's no way I could continue to work, so I came home early. I finally told people at work about my pregnancy because I couldn't lie about why I wasn't feeling well. Besides I think it's time to tell everyone. I don't want to have to wear a sign saying "no I'm not getting fat, I'm pregnant!".

奇怪﹐當身邊的朋友和親戚都紛紛向我們祝賀﹐反而自己的親弟的反應如此冷淡。當我問他媽咪將喜事告訴他沒有﹐他只說了句“有”。真的只可這樣嗎？我知我們的關係並沒有那麼好﹐平時更話都沒兩句﹐但就算是陌生人也會說句恭喜吧﹐更何況他將會是BB的叔叔﹐真的很怪呢！

終於可以向大家宣報我有了BB的消息！今天去見過醫生﹐一切正常﹐還照了第一張超聲波。BB的性別就要等20週時才照得出。右邊是頭﹐左邊是屁股﹐還有上下兩邊的手。我還見到BB在動和心跳﹐那一刻真的快要哭出來了。

I'm happy to finally annouce that Peter and I are expecting our first baby. We just went to our first doctor visit today. Everything is going okay. We even got to see the baby heart beating and moving in my womb through ultra sound today. Not sure if you can see, but the head is on the right, and the butt of course is on the left. You can even see the two little arms next to the baby's head. Seeing the baby for the first time was unreal. There's nothing compared to it. I almost cried. Then I looked at Peter, and I saw the smile on his face. I can't believe we are going to be parents.

爸﹐父親節快樂！

I was taking care of a 90 some year old man yesterday. He was very nice and always appreciative. Even after we moved and turned him, which was really painful for him, he always thanked us and told us how nice we were to him. Today I came to work, and my co-workers told me this gentleman passed away this morning. I was a little shocked. Even given his age, he was doing not great but okay. I guess he has asked for a warm blanket, and an hour after the nurse gave him the blanket, they found him passed away in his sleep. We have seen so many patients that are just waiting to die with much suffering, so it's nice to see him die in peace and with dignity. I remember our last conversation was after waking him up for his bedtime meds, I joked and told him I wouldn't bother him again. Then he took my hand and told me I'm no bother and how nice I am. He said if they ask him about me, he would say all the good things about me. Not sure who "they" are, but I hope he's telling those in heaven nice things about me right now, hee.

I'm counting down the days until I'm retired. What a long way to go. After working a real job for almost 5 years now, I still don't have my retirement account set up. I need to talk to some smart people. I have so many things I need to get done right now. Even though I have so much time, I have so little energy to do anything. I'm too lazy to even go to a movie. I still need to apply for citizenship. I can't believe how much money and time we have spent on this.

Schroeder has finally mellowed down some. He's not as scatty as he used to be. Thank goodness. I hope he will continue to improve, otherwise I will have to fedex him to my starving cousin in China. Just kidding. He still loves to bark at strangers and things, especially our neighbor who wears wifebeater all the time. Last night, he started barking nonstop at nothing. We think he might have seen some fireflies or bunnies. What a wuss.

哎喲！好久未寫部落格了。除了因為自己懶的個性外﹐還有其他原因。其實有時也受不了自己的懶惰﹐現在手頭上實在是太多東西要辦﹐但總是提不起勁做﹐怎辦﹖為了方便日後寫部落格﹐我決定又一次將中英文版合拼﹐希望真的有幫助。

最近小狗終於開始定性﹐沒有以前那種過度活躍﹐真的拜託了﹗因為牠之前的那個無時停的情況﹐害我們差點將牠送去動物協會。不過牠還是很愛吠﹐昨晚更在後院吠個不停﹐我想牠大概是見到野兔或熒火蟲那些小動物﹐膽小狗﹗

It was my first time as a charge nurse tonight. Like always, things got a little crazy in the 1st four hours. We had one situation where we needed to transfer a patient to a critical bed but there wasn't any available. The nurse that was taking care of that patient was so overwhelmed and falling behind. There's nothing I could do about the bed situation, so I helped that nurse taking care of her other patients on top of my own group of patients. I felt so frustrated because I felt like there should be more I could do to help that nurse. But I think in the end, everything turned out okay. We were able to finally send that patient to a critical floor, and everything else were under control. It was a good experience I think. Would I do that again? Only if I have to.

On a different subject, we found Schroeder missing when we came home from work last night. Peter walked around the neighborhood but found nothing. I was devastated. I was worried what could have happened to Schroeder. I thought we had lost him forever. (Peter would love that) This morning I got a call from the animal control people. They found Schroeder. Actually when I answered the phone, the first thing they said to me was "Are you missing something?". We had to pay $50(ransom) to get Schroeder back. I guess Schroder must have gotten our of the fence and was standing at our sidewalk, when someone saw him and took him to the authority. I'm glad Schroeder is finally home.

My plan for today was going to garage sales and started my crafty projects. I have never been a crafty person, but I am creative. But my plans failed because I was too sleepy to go to garage sales, and I ended up having to work in the afternoon. I'm hoping tomorrow I can get some of that done.

I hate keeping secret. I'm keeping a huge one right now, it's killing me.

I'm more exhausted from work today than usual. I had a good assignment actually, but something has been bothering me lately that makes work more dreadful. I have been thinking about switching to a different shift for quite some time now. I have not weighed out all the pros and cons yet, but it seems to be 50/50. I also have to consider how this is going to work out with us sharing one car. I don't know what to do anymore.

Happy Mother's Day!

Just got home from KC tonight. It was nice to see the family and celebrated mother's day together. The only bad part was grandma's basement was flooded last week, and there's mold all over. Not only was it a health hazard down there, we couldn't turn on the AC because we had to keep the windows opened to air out the basement. It was 70 some degree there, and there were at least 25 of us in that house. The heat also made me really sleepy. Even though we were only gone for one night, I was so glad to be home. I guess I didn't realize how much I love being at home. We don't have a fancy house, just an old brick house that is still a work in progress, espeically the basement. We try to keep our house clean, but there are still small amount of messiness here and there that are just reflections of our personalities. After a long of work or a trip away, the familiar smell and feeling I get when I walk into the door makes me feel at ease. I am content here.

I did some changes to the site while at work. Apprently I was hardly working. I discovered Flickr toys . I love their profile widget. It's simply stylish. I recently developed a great interest in making sock animals. I always have a weakness for cute things. Ever since I saw the sock doggie episode on That's Clever! I can't stop thinking about it. I found some instructions online on how to make sock dog, monkey, and even elephant. I can't wait to get started. First I need to get myself a sewing machine. I hope I can have some pictures to show soon. I added links to some crafty sites. They are my inspiration. I want to become a crafter.

My feet hurt so bad. I worked until 3am yesterday, and I'm still recovering from it. I stayed late to help. I felt like I didn't help much because there was so much to do. Those night nurses are always running their butt off, and yet they are the least recognized. I know because I worked night for couple years. Lately, I have been feeling burnout from my job. Sometime I just want to quit my job and do something completely different. But then , I look my patients and am reminded why I do what I do. This is my calling, and I can't let my frustration get to my head. I was proud of myself tonight. There's a situation at work that upset a lot of us, and somehow I got the courage to call one of our managers and expressed my frustration. I'm so sick of people trying to be lazy when others are trying to keep their heads above water. Now I know why I'm starting to get gray hair.

The other day, I was helping one of the nurses with her new admission. It was an older gentleman patient who had been on our floor before. He's so cute. Anyway, we got to talking about my background. He asked me about my nationality. I told him I'm Chinese. Right away he asked, "Hey, what do you guys call those fat wrestlers in your country?" "Sumo wrestlers," I told him, " and they are in Japan." Then he started to talk about what those guys wear and started singing "itsy bitsy teenie weenis yellow polka dot bikini" Haha...

One of the bad things about working only 3 days a week is I have a tendancy to become really lazy. I think if I have a busier schedule, I can keep myself occupied and be more productive. I'm not self motivated when it comes to hard working. I always give my 100% once I'm at work, the problem is I hate being at work. Maybe the 12 hours shift is starting to get to me. I guess you can't have everything.

So I heard a lot of bad reviews on Spider-Man3 from other poeple too. The only people seem to enjoy it are little kids. I want to know what happened to the writer who surprisingly wrote all three Spider-Man. Did they cut his salary or piss him off? Maybe he has been watching too much Lifetime tv? Seriously, the lines in this one can't be cheesier. Now that I have written two entries about how bad Spider-Man3 sucks, don't say I didn't warn you. I only wish someone warned me before.

I'm glad I don't have to work monday because I get to watch Dancing With The Stars. I don't know why people are giving Len Goodman a hard time. He's my favorite judge. Such a classy man. I wish the judges will dance on the show. I would love to see their moves.

Boy, what a fun day for Schroeder. I took him with me while I ran some errands this afternoon. He was being a good boy. I could tell he really enjoyed the car ride. Then I took him to a nearby park. I didn't realize we have such a beautiful park here. It has a big lake in it and a dog park. I may get Schroeder a permit for the dog park. We took a long walk along the lake and the trail. Schroeder even got a little dip in the water. It's his first, so he freaked out a little. He may eventually warm up to it I hope.

Went to see Spider Man today. I have to say I was very disappointing. Even though I didn't have much expectation, I expected it to be better than the second one since the second one was better than the first. I thought it was way too long even with every 15 minutes action scenes. Half way through the movie, I found myself completely bored and not care for any of the character. Also there were many corny moments that had me rolling my eyes. I seriously enjoyed watching the previews more than the movie itself. At least we were smart enough to watch the matinee.

Some of the previews that got me excited about the summer blockbusters are Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End coming out May 25 and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which comes out July 13. My gosh! Has it really been a year since the last Pirates movie? This time they got Chow Yun-Fat in it, my favorite Hong Kong actor.

It was a perfect day. We had our meeting with our pastor today. It went well as usual. He's such an amazing minister. We are inspired to becoming memebers of this church. Then we drove around town for groceries. We had barbecue lamb, saffron risotto, and corn for dinner. I was not a big fan of the barbecue lamb. I don't really like the lamb meat taste, I prefer to have it cooked in some kind of sauce or spice to take away that taste. After dinner we took Schroeder to a nearby park. He ran alongside Peter, and we played fetch with a stick. He was having so much fun. You could see his big smile the whole time. He's getting used to sleeping outside now. It really saves us a lot of hassle. We don't have to get up early to let him out anymore. Last night, he even slept in his dog house I got him. Smart doggie. It was a wonderful day for Schroeder and for me too. I'm ready for a long night of rest and cuddle.

We went to the Gateway Market today. It just opened up last week. They sell a lot of gourmet food and have a big selection of cheese and freshly baked bread. We had lunch at their cafe. I had the Tokyo style ramen noddle, and Peter had the burger. Honestly, I think they are little pricey for the kind of food they serve. Also I noticed a lot of the groceries they offer can also be found in the local grocery stores. I'm not really impressed. I think it's just another gimmick to price up some ordinary products, because nowaday, most grocery stores have imported products that don't cost as much. I'm sure it will still do well though, because there are many people who are suckers for this kind of things.

I bought Schroeder a dog house today. We are trying to make him an outside dog. It took little time to assemble, but I had to work up a sweat to get it outside. It wouldn't fit through the back door. I had to take the roof off, which was the part that took the longest to put together, and reassembled it outside. I'm not sure if Schroeder likes it, but he'd better use it. I also bought Orlando some scratching tools. One of them came with a little bag of catnip. I was supposed sprinkle it onto the scartching pad, but I didn't because that stuff makes cats crazy. Orlando was already rubbing himself on the bag that the catnip was in. After I threw it in the trash, he was rubbing against the trash can. Catnip is evil!

Tonight I watched the new show The Real Wedding Crashers. I thought it was kinda funny. I like it better than other punk shows. I always feel awkard and sometimes bad for the people that are being punked or doing the punk, because sometimes people get really angry. But this time the grooms and the brides are in for it, and since it's their big day, the guests can't really be mad at them. I don't think I can ever punk anyone, because I can't keep a straight face.

I LOVE...
Going to pet stores.
Going to the zoo.
Coca-Cola.
Staying home on a rainy day.
Putting on makeup.
Waking up early in the morning.
Sleeping in occasionally.
Shopping alone.
Family gathering.
Taking baths.
Wearing perfume.
Curling my hair.
Cuddling with Orlando.
Playing with Schroeder.
Spending time with my hubby.
Looking at old pictures.
Christmas.
Weddings.

I HATE...
Waking up early in the morning when I have been staying up late the night before.
Loud noises.
Bananas.
Snow.
Lazy people.
Reading.
Bad hair day.
Pimples.
Socializing.
Darkness.
Working on the weekend.
Schroeder barking in the morning.
Being irrational.
Immoralities.

I think I'm a loner. Besides spending time with my husband, I prefer to be alone. It's different with him because we are as one, so being with him is like being with myself. I love the freedom of being alone. You don't have to compromise or negotiate. Occasionally, I enjoy having a good time with my friends, but it doesn't happen often. Even when I'm with my friends, I prefer to stay very low key. I'm also very particular about who I hang out with. It's very tiring to be with people I don't care for. I don't make friends easily. It takes a lot for me to open up to someone. I look at other people who have a big circle of friends, I say good for them. Then I look at myself, so far I can count my close friends with one hand with couple fingers to spare. But I love that though because it makes our friendship so much more special and significant.

It was a fun filled weekend visiting my friend Wing in Minneapolis. We ate plenty of good food and went shopping every chance we got. This is the first trip we have taken since we got Schroeder. We really missed him during the trip, especially when we saw the cute dog commercial on TV. The one where bunch of puppies running around in a museum singing, so adorable. I don't know what they did to Schroeder, but he has calmed down a lot since he came back from the kennel, and he smells and looks better. The cat apprently missed us too, because he wouldn't leave us alone ever since we came home.

Today I went shopping for some makeup. (More shopping yet?) I have been using Bobbi Brown makeup for a while. I like how most of her makeup are yellow based, which are suitable to most women, even caucasians. She's all about enhancing women's nautral beauty without looking all madeup, perfect for my minimalist taste. I also bought one of her books. It's pretty lame to read a cosmetic book, but there are a lot of tips in there on makeup technique and how to look good in every age group. I know how you look doesn't change who you are, but it sure changes the way you feel sometimes. You don't have to put a lot of time to make yourself look nice. You just can't go into an interview or a party looking like you just roll out of bed. This is part of taking care of ourselves, we shouldn't be so lazy about it. Besides, it shows others respect when you look well-kept. So the little extra time you spend in the morning to get yourself ready is well worth it. You just don't want to make your appearance to be your number one priority, because then you become narcissistic.

Something to share.

I was the secretary on our floor today. It was so much fun, and it's a nice change. I may do it again tomorrow. I signed up extra this weekend because we are going to Minneapolis next week, and I need to make some extra cash for it. I'm so looking forward to it. It's always fun going to see my frieng Wing. It's my chance to get in touch with my asian culture.

Couple days ago Peter let Orlando out, something I have told him not to because we don't have invisible fence. Although Orlando always came back in the past, this time he was gone for couple of days. I was getting worried because the night he was gone there was a big thunder storm and the temperature was going to drop into the 20s the next few days. Last night Peter was whistling in the backyard. Suddently we heard a meow coming from somewhere, but we couldn't tell where. Peter ran around the house and down the street, still no sight of Orlando. Then Peter whistled again, and the meow became more constant this time. We followed the sound and finally we realized the sound was coming from our neighbor's garage. Peter knocked on the neighbor's door, and an old man came out. Peter told him our cat was trapped in his garage, and the old man went back inside to put on his shoes. It took him nearly 10 minutes, and it took him another 10 minutes to walk to the garage and open its door. I had already went back to our house because it was freezing out. 20 minutes later, Orlando was home sweet home. Later Peter told me the old man sounded a little upset that we let out cat ran around free. He said there's a leash law here and that "This may smells like a free country, but it's not." Haha... We also found out why they always park on the street. Their garage is filled with old junk, and their driveway is already taken up by old junk cars. If junk equals old memories, they sure have a lot of them. Anyway, I'm glad our sweet Orlando is finally home, unfortunately, there will be no more adventure for him.

Work sucked this past weekend. First I had some really heavy patients that required totaly care. My back was so sore after work. Then I had a doctor trying to do things his way and not follow the hospital protocol. He also tried to blame the nurses for what happened. What-ever!

I love spring, the air, flowers blooming, and birds singing. Schroeder has been enjoying the weather as well. We are able to let him out most of the day. He's made friends with our neighbor's kids. At first Schroeder was a little afraid of them, even though they were on the other side of the fence. Schroeder would get close to the fence when the kids were not looking, then the kids saw him and tried to pat him, he ran away. The kids would throw sticks to our yard trying to get the dog's attention, but Schroeder didn't care. Finally Schroeder realized they were all right and started licking the kids. When our pastor's kids were over here today, the little boy Owen was extremely scared of the dog. He was screaming bloody murder and telling the dog to "GO AWAY! GO AWAY!". Haha... It was a funny scene. The girls on the other hand were having so much fun playing with the dog. Even baby Monica was patting the dog.

So March Madness has begun, and that's all I have to say about it. We have big plans this weekend. Mark's birthday on Firday, and Uncle Phil is coming from Texas to hang out and watch the games with us. Hope everyone has a great week and weekend.

Look at these tiny feet. A premature baby born at 22 weeks is being released from the hospital. Even though the doctors were not optimistic at first are now amazed by the progress this little baby is making. I wish people can look at this and think twice about abortion. Whether they want to face the truth or not, abortion is the killing of an actual human life. Even the littlest feet like these can still kick. Thanks to the Lord for bringing this miracle baby to her family.

I came down with a terrible cold right after Peter got well from his. I blamed him of course. At least he was taking good care of me while I was sick. I was at the end of my cold last night when I went to the Phantom of the Opera. I brought extra kleenex. It was so cold out, luckily we didn't have to walk too far from our parking spot to the civic center. Yesterday I kept having a feeling that I was going to miss the show. When I was checking online to see where we could park, I noticed the show time was actually 6:30 not 7:30. It was 6 already, so Peter and I had to rush out the last minute. We made it there on time with five minutes to spare actually. I always loved the music of the Phantom of the Opera and always wanted to see it. This is my first musical experience, and I really enjoyed it. It would have been more enjoyable though if I wasn't sick. I would love to see it again.


We also rented The Illusionist last night. It was good I think. I remember there were two magician movies last year around the same time, this one and The Prestige. We saw the latter one in the theater and it was equally entertaining.

It seems like there's a big chance of snow again tonight. Are you kidding me?

Poor Peter was sick the last couple days. He's so cute with his red nose though. I'm glad he's all better now because I'm going to take him to see the Phantom of the Opera with me this sunday. It's my Valentine's gift. I bought the tickets for me for him. I'm really excited.

We have satellite again, woo-hoo! I forgot how clear the picture is. We had antena for the past year, and I spent majority of my tv watching time manipulating. Now I can finally enjoy the tv watching experience. We even got some Hong Kong channels. I feel a little more closer to home now.

We did our tax return couple weeks ago, and we have to pay even more this year. I hate the IRS.

Another week of freezing cold weather. Record lows in many places, what's going on? I wanna stay in my warm bed and never come out again.

Today I went to an old local shopping mall. There wasn't much there. It was actually quite depressing. The 80s music and the empty shops, a carrousel without any rider besides the old man that operates it was cleaning the seats, it reminded me a lot of the mall in Traverse City. I hate shopping with the crowds, but places like this killed my shopping mood. By the way, has anyone tried the Breyer's double churned ice-cream? The texture is similar to gelato, very smooth and dense. I'm going to make myself a brownie with Breyer's double churned vanilla ice-cream tonight. Sounds good?

Fudge! Got disconnected in the middle of blogging. Don't you hate that? So here I am have to rewrite everything.

I had a rough week last week, made a couple mistakes at work, though not life threathening, but I felt terrible about it. I could't let it go for a few days. I know we are all human and are not perfect, but I need to be super extra careful.

Peter and I have been thinking about joining the church we attend to. We met with our pastor yesterday to discuss the process. We will have few more meetings and to go through the Belgic Confession. For me, I will have to be baptized and also profess my faith first. Although I'm looking forward to it, I'm also very nervous about the baptism. I know it's a big committment, and it's going to be such a profound experience. I pray that God will give me strength and wisdom to go through it.

Recently I have taken up running. I have only been running on treadmill since it's been freezing outside. Although it's still dreadful sometimes, I somehow enjoy it, especially with some good music. Also I started writing a journal. Even though I enjoy blogging, and it's so convenient, some of my thoughts are too personal, and with me changing my blog so often, I don't want to lose some of the important ones (thoughts).

I have not stopped thinking about the movie pan's labyrinth ever since I saw it yesterday. I really enjoyed it and think it's the best movie I have seen since LOTRs. However, I can't seem to get over how depressing it was. A young lonely girl used her imagination to escape the dark cruel world she was living in. Although her fantacy might have kept her happy, I couldn't help to feel sad for her for the fact that she couldn't tell her imaginary world from the real world. Come to think of it, I never had any imaginary friends when I was little. I had great imaginations, but I never had the imaginary and the real mixed up. Maybe the real world we are living in is cruel, cold, and ugly, but we can't keep escaping it. I know my faith gives me hope, and that's not just my imagination.

We went to see Pan's Labyrinth today. We had been anticipating this one for a while. This is not a mere fantacy movie that the TV commercial may portrait it for, it's a very dark fairy tale like movie without a fairy tale ending. It left me feeling depressed. Because of its brutalness and violence, it's definitely not for children. I have not seen anything so imaginative for a long time. This movie is simply brilliant, and it's one that you would want to see it in theater.

On a lighter note, Schroeder got a new jersey and he loves it!

Just saw Children of Men tonight. It got a good storyline, but the ending wasn't satisfying to me. It's still worth to go see in the theater I think.

We taught Schroeder to sit and shake hand today, Yay!